Remembering 9/11 with Mia Garcia-Hills: What does tragedy teach us about humanity?

Welcome to This Is UIC, the official podcast of the University of Illinois Chicago. I’m your host, Grace Khachaturian. With each episode, we’re making known the stories of our people, where they come from and how they’re leading the way to create and inspire a better world. This is UIC.  

Well, joining us today is Dr. Mia Garcia Hills, the director of student veteran affairs at the University of Illinois Chicago and the artist behind the 9/11 25th Anniversary Exhibition. Welcome, Mia. 

Mia Garcia-Hills  0:35   

Thank you for having me. 

Grace Khachaturian  0:37   

So when it comes to Dr. Mia Garcia Hills, what makes you who you are? Tell us a little bit about your why. 

Mia Garcia-Hills  0:51   

The role that I have right now is, honestly, because of my father. So I’m the daughter of a Korean War veteran. He was a combat veteran who enlisted in the army when he was living in Texas. I was very, very close to my father. He really is the best example of a man that I could have grown up with, and I’m very grateful that I had the time that I had with him.  

When I was very young, when I was 8 years old, I lost my best friend in a tragic freak accident, and I think that that moment was a turning point in my relationship with my dad because I felt him become closer to me. And I think that in a lot of ways, the trauma that I experienced as an 8-year-old made him kind of become a little bit more aware of maybe some of the traumas that he experienced. And I found that some of the things that he had done on his own — you know, he was taking me with him. And, you know, visits to the VA hospital became a ritual for the two of us, where, you know, he would take me along with him. I would run around the Hines Hospital, right, you know, in right next door to Maywood.  

But, you know, he’d be like, “OK, mijita, go check on the guys on the floor, see if they need anything, see if they need any medicine, see if they need their bed changed, see if they need, you know, whatever. And I think that by doing that, he really got me out of my head, because, you know, as an 8-year-old losing a childhood friend, it had a very negative impact on me. And, you know, I was very emotionally impacted by it. And I think that he was really just trying to help me see that other people are experiencing something, and that if we can find a way to help them, let’s do that, you know.  

And it took me out of what was going on in my head, you know. And I think I really understood that as I got older. But I think it also helped me see that by him helping me, that I think that that was healing something in him. And that’s something that I feel I’ve continued to kind of work on and embrace in a lot of different ways throughout the course of my life.  

So, you know, I went on to become a teacher. That was a really important thing, too. My mom and dad went to school to the fifth and seventh grade. So, you know, their dream for their kids — they had five; I was the youngest of the five — was that, you know, you get a good education, and for that, you know, really high school was the goal, and college was a dream, you know.  

And I continued on, and I got my bachelor’s degree. I got to teach, and then I went on. I got my master’s degree, and then I started working in a college, and then I got a PhD. And, you know, with that, it was really by the time I was in my PhD program, that was a commitment that I made to my father. He ended up getting diagnosed with prostate cancer, and he was, you know, sick for a long time. And he went through 40 rounds of radiation therapy, and then he was given the all-clear. And then it came back as B-cell lymphoma. And so at that point, you know, there was some going back and forth about whether or not he was going to continue any of that care, and he opted to go in to do the chemo, and his body did not respond well to it.  

And so, you know, when he was sick, you know, he was like, you know, “I really want to have a doctor in the family. I really want to have a doctor.” I was like, “Well, I can’t be a medical doctor, so that’s not going to happen. But I can work on a PhD. So we made a deal, and I was like, “OK, good. You’re going to make it through your chemotherapy, and I’m going to work on my PhD, and you’re going to have your doctor, and I’m going to have my daddy.” 

Mia Garcia-Hills  4:38   

You know, and there were some complications with what he, he experienced, and he ended up passing. And there were a lot of complications that went into it. So, the, the reason on it is, you know, complications from post-traumatic stress. And for those of you who know what that means, you know what that means, you know. It really changed the trajectory of what I was doing. You know, I was in school and higher education was the goal, and, you know, I ended up dropping out. Like when I lost my dad, I kind of lost my connection to my reason, my purpose, you know, for why I was doing what I was doing as far as my education goes.  

And then I picked it back up in 2015, and I was really lucky to be able to go to school and work at the same time. And then I was a finalist for three different jobs, and then I was offered two. This was one of them, and I talked to my mom about it. And the first thing that came out of her mouth was, she thought you got to take that veterans job because that would make your dad so proud. OK, that’s what I’m going to do. And, you know, the whole reason why I went to school to, you know, get my PhD in the first place was because of my father. And then wrapping it up and then going into this work, I feel really has helped me to maintain this kind of connection to him in a lot of different ways. Like, I really do feel like him kind of nudging me along, and, you know, it’s a gift to be able to do this work. And I think that that’s a really special way to think about how we do what we choose to do on a daily basis, you know. I think everybody has a different approach. And for me, it’s really about trying to figure out the best possible way to provide support to people who need it the most. And I think I get that from my father. 

Grace Khachaturian  6:30   

I mean, it’s just like the 8-year-old you running through, you know, veterans hospital, checking in on people. You’re doing that in a different form, and it seems like you’ve just done that your whole life because of your dad. 

Mia Garcia-Hills  6:42   

When I was really young, I saw this picture of my dad, I always went back to. I’d always look at it because he is kneeling down on one knee. And he was infantry, so he was at the front lines. He’s in a field, and you can kind of see that maybe it’s like a road that’s next to a field, and somebody spelled out the word love with toilet paper. And they’re holding down the toilet paper with little rocks all around it. So he’s on one knee and he’s pointing at it. And he’s looking at the camera, but he’s pointing at the love, right? And I really feel like, for me, that was representative of who my father was. You know, like he, he was always, for me, a very, very loving person, very protective, very quiet, and he had the best smile.  

He’s in his helmet, he’s in his combat uniform, he’s wearing a vest, and I’m sure it’s got some protection in it. But, you know, it’s amazing for me to have that juxtaposition of he is in the midst of a war, he is at the front line, he is combat infantry. You know, that means he’s the first line of defense. He’s, you know, he’s there to fight, but he’s thinking about love. And that, that’s just who he was. 

Grace Khachaturian  7:59   

I mean, I feel like it’s most definitely apple does not fall far from the tree. I feel like you convey such a sense of love as well, and connection. In addition to the way that you’re still caring for our veterans, you’re also bringing to light those who walked through something really hard 25 years ago of 9/11. Can you tell us a little bit about your tie to 9/11? 

Mia Garcia-Hills  8:26   

The attacks of 9/11 happened in 2001. And 2001 was a really big year for me for a couple different reasons. I had been in college at that point for nine years, and I had just finished my bachelor’s degree at UIC. I’d just gotten married that May, so the year itself was a huge, like, achievement year for me. And so May was it, you know, I had actually asked my husband to marry me well before that. I was like 24 when he asked, when I asked him to marry. He said no, we could not get married until I finished my, you know, bachelor’s degree. That was like a thing. And I proposed him with this huge painting with a diamond ring on it.  

So I graduated in May, and a week later we got married. So we got married May 18 in 2001. So then fast forward to September, and it becomes a completely different kind of year, like the monumentality of that year shifted. And it really, you know, stands out to me as one of the most impactful, you know, series of events that happened in my life. And obviously 9/11 impacted the larger population, not just in the United States but around the world. I think that we had this false sense of security of we were invincible prior to those series of, of attacks that occurred, right? And the way that we thought about one another, you know, the relationships that we had. And you think about, you know, OK, what if, what if this were to happen again? What am I going to do? Where am I going to go? What’s my plan? And how do I communicate with the people that I love the most and make sure that they know that I’m safe? Or how do I find out that the people that I love the most are, are safe where they are? You know, I think that those things all became palpable. Like it’s something that we did not really have to think about or consider or make a plan.  

And I think even in, in my personal life, I’ve, I’ve always been a person who’s comfortable saying I love you to my friends and my family, but I feel like I said it more. You know, it’s like I don’t ever want there to be a situation where something happens and a person that I love didn’t know that I love them, you know. And so, I think for me, it made that even more urgent. 

Grace Khachaturian  10:58   

You are the artist behind the upcoming exhibition commemorating the 25th anniversary of 9/11. What inspired you to take on an effort like this? 

Mia Garcia-Hills  11:11   

When I started at UIC, it was 2021, so it was the 20th anniversary of 9/11. And I was lucky to be able to come into the space to do this work. And at that time, there already was a project underway to commemorate the 20th anniversary. And I think I, I immediately was thinking about what can we do in five years to tell this story, you know. And I felt like that was a responsibility that I needed to take very seriously because the time is going to keep marching on, and these stories can’t disappear.  

It happened that when I was working on my dissertation, the methodology that I was using is called testimonial. Testimonial methodology comes out of Latin heritage, and it’s about storytelling. It’s about the importance of maintaining this continuity of stories, that our responsibility of history-making belongs to every single person. The testimonial methodology is really about all of our stories create these histories. That, you know, like if you think about a tapestry or, you know, something where you have all these little tiny pieces that make up this conglomeration of pieces that make up this single thing. You know that we are all responsible for telling stories to create history. We are history makers, and we are all history, you know, storytellers. And now we have the opportunity to tell not just one story, but 25 stories for these 25 years that have gone by.  

And we’re not just telling the stories of the people who were alive when it happened, but also from the perspective of what are the cascading consequences of these attacks, and for those people who were not born during the attacks, how do you feel them today? What are some of the things that you’ve been told, and how do you see, you know, some of the changes that have happened since those attacks manifested in, in your daily life? You know, what are the consequences, and what are the lessons that we’ve been able to learn?Have we learned a lesson, you know?  

And I think that that, that is what is the most important thing about this exhibition is that it gives people with a whole different set of perspectives to reflect back. So it’s not a single story; it’s, you know, everything. There were so many different ways of people entering into the conversation, and that is what is represented in this exhibition. We have 25 people, and of that group, 17 [19] are veterans. And it’s students, faculty, staff and alumni. One of the things that we’ve done, in addition to the exhibition which includes 25 black-and-white portraits and 25 video interviews, there’s also an exhibition catalog that we’re still, you know, working on. But it includes curriculum on how do you conduct oral history. And we got another UIC alumni who, Whitney Jean, who is the CPS curriculum director, who was able to help us with developing curriculum for K through eight and nine through 12, you know.  

And we know, too, it was very important for us to make sure that whatever approach we took, that this is something that young kids could participate in, you know, because we want people to be able to engage with this meaningfully. There’s just a lot that went into the collaborative spirit that made this possible. And I think that all of that comes from love. It comes from, you know, loving each other enough to support the stories that are going to be told, and creating that safe space for that to happen. 

Grace Khachaturian  14:55   

I know you mentioned many of the stories. At the exhibition, many of those individuals are veterans. But what common threads do you see between the stories of veterans and the stories of those connected to 9/11? 

Mia Garcia-Hills  15:11   

Yeah, I think first and foremost, you know, 9/11 was a traumatic experience. And trauma is a narrative that’s assigned to service members and especially veterans. I mean, oftentimes we don’t hear the term veteran without post-traumatic stress being associated with it. Trauma belongs to everyone, and that was actually the title of one of my presentations.  

There have been plenty of studies that tell us that most individuals will experience up to six adverse childhood experiences, and that’s one of the indices that’s used to understand trauma. So if we come from a place of understanding that we’re all walking around with wounds, you know, and they are invisible wounds. And you can go back to that 8-year-old Mia who lost her, you know, best friend in a freak accident two houses down when I was 8 years old. You know, you’re walking around with these memories, these experiences that have caused trauma, and they inform how we behave. They inform our thoughts, our behaviors, our feelings, our attitudes. And, you know, some people may register an experience as trauma when they’re young, and sometimes they won’t. Sometimes it takes years for somebody to reflect back on their life and understand this was a traumatic experience. And in some cases, people, you know, kind of stuff it down and quiet it, and sometimes it just is so emblematic of who they are, you know, that they can’t separate the trauma from whatever it is that they’re experiencing in any given moment, you know.  

So there’s many degrees of it, but I think that trauma is the thing that bonds all of us, you know. And that’s, it’s not a negative thing, you know. It just, it’s reality. And I think accepting that and understanding that we all have pain. But we all have, I think, the capacity to want love for each other, too, and that we can find different ways of supporting one another, and I think that that comes from finding community. And that’s one of the things that we’re trying to accomplish with this exhibition, is creating a space where community can occur.  

We’ve added an element to the exhibit that I’m really excited about, which is an interactive element. So people who come into the space will have an area where they can sit down and write their own story and leave it with us, you know. And I think that that’s a really important thing to do because one thing that I noticed when we were doing the interviews is that there were several people who said, “I’ve never talked about this. I haven’t thought about this,” you know. So again, it goes back to creating that space and allowing people to tell their stories. You know, that’s another way for healing to occur, and that’s one of the things that I think is so powerful about art making, is that art gives you a creative capacity for processing all different kinds of things, and trauma can be one of them. It doesn’t have to be the only thing, but it can be one of those things that you can process through making something creative.  

And I think that offering the space and time to just sit down quietly and write a postcard on what were your memories of 9/11, or what’s something that you just want to get out of your body or out of your head? You know, that that can be very healing. It can be very cathartic, and we hope that people will take advantage of that opportunity. 

Grace Khachaturian  18:54   

What do we risk if we stop telling these stories? 

Mia Garcia-Hills  19:00   

I think that the, the memories are what we risk losing. I think, you know, one of my — I’m not a Disney fan right now, but “Coco” is one of my favorite movies, and that’s one of the first Disney movies that I’ve watched in a very, very long time. But the reason why I love that one so much is because it really does focus on the ritual and the sacred nature of the Day of the Dead, right? We lost so many people, and even for the people who are still with us, we all lost something. And it’s important us, for us to remember what we’ve lost. You know, that we value what we’ve lost. That we lost a sense of security. That we lost a sense of connection. That we lost, you know, this deep sense of pride, I think to a certain extent, right?  

So I think that those are the things that we have to make sure that we don’t lose forever. You know, that we, we have to cling to those memories, and we need to make sure that the stories of those whose lives were lost are never forgotten. And the work that was done to preserve what remained, I think that’s our responsibility, you know, that we have to carry those memories forward and make sure that the stories continue to be told so that we can learn from them. That, those are lessons. Every single memory is a lesson. 

Grace Khachaturian  20:33   

You know, it’s hard to imagine the word “love” and war as your father has demonstrated through that photo. But it’s also hard to imagine the word “love” tied to something like 9/11. How are you seeing that word on display in your work creating this exhibition? 

Mia Garcia-Hills  20:58   

I think that mostly you’ll see it through the videos. And I think, in a lot of ways, like there’s some stories where you’re going to hear people who just, just had a baby, and then 9/11. People who are talking about how they don’t know the people who were impacted, but they see, you know, especially the, the towers, I think, were the most kind of horrific images that many of us were confronted with, right? But you hear people here who were in Chicago or people who were in high school, you know, classrooms in this area thinking about those families that they’ve never met, but they care about them, and they’re sending them prayers and they’re sending them support. I do think that there is an energy that is carried. There’s a vibration. When you have an entire nation, and, you know, even from a global perspective of people just sending out prayers, I do 100% believe that that does something. I think that that’s, that’s how love was shown, especially in that moment. And I think that you can definitely feel it when you’re listening to these stories and when you see the images, too.  

I think that because you know what each of these individuals who participated in the portraits and the interviews knew what they were getting into, you know, you can see on their faces that it’s there, you know. It’s, it’s underneath. I think that, you know, there’s also that sense of, you know, fury and rage is, is in there, too. You know, those two, they, it’s not like they’re mutually exclusive, right? Like you can be completely overwhelmed and sad and angry and also feel love at the same time. Like, these things rest and reside with each other side by side, or, you know, inside of one another. But I, I think that it’s very, very present love. 

Grace Khachaturian  23:09   

It feels like so much of your life has prepared you for the work that you’re doing currently. But how has the work that you’ve done with veterans shaped how you’ve approached this exhibition? 

Mia Garcia-Hills  23:23   

Well, I think it’s not just with veterans. I mean, when I was a lot younger, I was working with the Chicago Abused Women Coalition. Like, that was one of the first things that I did. You know, it’s important for us to kind of think about how have we stacked different kinds of experiences based on our prior observations or what we’ve witnessed throughout our life, right? And how we learn from those experiences and then try to apply it in a way that might heal us at the same time that we’re healing or trying to make a positive impact or intervention with other people.  

But I think that, you know, there’s things that happened in the course of my career, my teaching, you know, all of the different things that I’ve done with really specific populations who had experienced trauma. Like, those are the things that prepared me for doing the work here, you know. I think that there are plenty of situations that I’ve encountered where students have been exposed to something in their life, and that was the reason why they got into the service in the first place. And they’re trying to escape that so that they can make something better for themselves. Or, you know, in some cases, they’re first-generation. I understand that, you know, I understand that from my own experience of being first-generation college graduate, too, you know. But I think that all of those little choices that I made along the way to volunteer in different spaces for different reasons have prepared me to do the work here. 

Grace Khachaturian  25:02   

Do you think that any of the unity and moments like that that we experienced from 9/11 still remain? 

Mia Garcia-Hills  25:10   

I do think that it does, and I think that we saw that during COVID. Do you remember when, you know, when we got locked in, and then you saw people trying to find ways to connect, you know, and the people who were banging on the pots for the nurses when they were doing their shift changes. I think it still comes up, but I do think that it does fade, and it’s kind of sad that that’s the way that it is. Like you start to feel safe again, or you start to take things for granted again. But I think that that’s another reason why it’s so important. Like that “never forget” title for this exhibition.  

There are also the other side of the spectrum of the question that you’re asking. There are a lot of people who are, you know, fury and rage and, you know, revenge. You know, that came up, too, and we can’t forget that either, because that is a part of the story. That’s not necessarily part of the story that is going to create a solution. And the thing that I, I want to focus on, you know, is, like, I’ve pulled something else from my dad that I’ve been thinking about. So he said, he was responding to a question: How would you describe yourself, tender-hearted or tough-minded? And he says, “I’m not a tough person. I try to get along with everyone. I do get angry once in a while, but it takes a lot to get to that point. I try not to get angry because it’s so bad for your health. I think sometimes it’s best to ignore things and move on rather than getting into a big problem. So I’d much rather be tender-hearted than tough-minded. I believe it’s more healthy. You know, like, that’s my dad. Like, that is straight up like who he was, and I feel like that’s where I am.  

I think that it’s heartbreaking to see that we’re not learning lessons and that there is still seems like there’s a lot of hate, you know. There’s a lot of division. But I do believe that there is a pathway back to being that tender-hearted person that my father wanted to be, and that my father taught me to be. 

Grace Khachaturian  27:18   

What do you think tragedy teaches us about humanity? 

Mia Garcia-Hills  27:23   

That we all hurt, you know, but that we all have the capacity to move forward and we have choices about how we move forward, right? I think that I’m always struck by, by people who tell stories who have who have directly experienced a tragedy and are still able to have and express love, you know, people who have been directly physically, psychologically, emotionally impacted by something that is incredibly severe, but that they can still find a place for forgiveness, and that they are still willing to be connected to other human beings or want to inspire other people to maintain that connection to other human beings. Those are the stories that I love the most. You know, I feel like those are the things that give me energy that I need and that I’m personally inspired by. 

Grace Khachaturian  28:28   

What do you think stays with us the most after tragedy, even 25 years later? 

Mia Garcia-Hills  28:35   

For me, it’s hope. There’s a quote by Gloria Anzaldúa where she talks about roses being the Mexican favorite flowers, thorns and all. That’s what sticks out for me, you know, like thorns and all. Like there’s, that’s a thorn for sure, but you can’t have anything without all of it, you know. There’s going to be a whole lot of things that are going to happen over the course of our life. Tragedy is going to be part of it, unfortunately. We’re never going to be able to avoid it, but that there’s always going to be something that’s worth it. You know, that’s part of it. You can’t cherry pick. You have to take all or nothing. 

Grace Khachaturian  29:23   

That’s a great visual. So how did your dad’s photo that you described of him kneeling with toilet paper spelled out, spelling out love? How does that photo influence who you are today? 

Mia Garcia-Hills  29:37   

He is a big part of how I try to conduct myself, you know. It’s, it’s definitely a challenge to live up to what I’ve made him to be in my memory, too, right? So I, I think that I definitely have built him up to, to something to aspire to in my mind. That I hope that I’m also doing things in his memory. You know, that he is pleased and proud of the work that I’m doing, and that’s important to me. 

Grace Khachaturian  30:11   

Tell us everything we need to know about the exhibition for those to visit. 

Mia Garcia-Hills  30:16   

Yes, so the exhibition is going to be at the National Veterans Art Museum, which is located right here in Chicago at 4041 North Milwaukee Avenue on the second floor, so Chicago, Illinois. National Veterans Art Museum on September 11th at 5:30 there will be a screening of the video, which has those 25 video interviews. It’s not all 25 of them fully. It’s going to be edited so that, you know, things are threaded together. And then there will be 25 black-and-white portraits there.  

There’s also going to be a whole series of programs. So if you visit the website, you can just go.uic/never forget, and that’ll take you to the events page for the National Veterans Art Museum. But I’ll also be leading a sound and healing yoga class, which will be a fundraiser for the National Veterans Art Museum. I’m really trying to help elevate and amplify that museum because I think that it’s a gem in Chicago. But September 11, 6 to 8 p.m. is the official opening of the exhibition. It’ll be up through January of 2027. So it’s a pretty long exhibition, which also makes me very proud that they feel like this is important enough that they want to feature it for that, you know, longer show. But I’m very, very excited to help you guys get access to these stories. 

Grace Khachaturian  31:47   

Well, I have no doubt that your father is beaming with pride of who you are and the work that you’re doing. I love the words that you’ve shared with us that we all carry, walk around with wounds and trauma bonds us, that we’re all history makers and that we all carry a story. To close out our time, if you were to pick out a song that best represents your story, what song would you pick? 

Mia Garcia-Hills  32:16   

“This must be the place” by Talking Heads. It’s about love and home, and I think that love is my home. I think, you know, I’m very lucky to have, you know, my husband Doug in my life. He is also home. We were singing the song on our walk yesterday. It was hilarious. I think the neighbors in our neighborhood are probably just like, “What is going on with these two people?” 

But it’s also like the, it brings up really good memories for me. The song came out in the ’80s. It was, I just, I love Talking Heads. I love David Byrne. But the song itself is really, truly about love. So if you’ve never really sat and listened to it, please look at the lyrics, pull it up on your YouTube or Prime Music or wherever you listen to music and just read the lyrics because it really is beautiful and it’s fun. It’s upbeat. It’s all the things that I try to be. 

Grace Khachaturian  33:31   

Well, thank you so much for your time here today. We’re so grateful, Mia. 

Mia Garcia-Hills  33:36   

You’re welcome. 

Grace Khachaturian  33:38