Some days are like others. Some days seem to take all the energy out of you. They blend together. They stick out. There are days that just feel like you’re getting pounded and you go to bed with tears and a wet pillow. There are other days when you lay your head down at night with a smile on your face. Life can be a mixture of those days. Good and bad. And sometimes the mixture doesn’t seem even. As they say, “when it rains, it pours.” It seems to be pouring right now. One of my colleagues said to me that when all the bad comes at once, it will all go away at once and the good will come back and turn things around.
This past year has been probably the most difficult of my entire life. And with one month left, I hoped I would be on cloud nine. I’ve worked the hardest, had the biggest workloads, and pushed and challenged myself to do better. The truth is, I kind of feel like I’m crawling to the finish line. Some people say, “welcome to adulthood!” But I can positively say, everyone fights his or her own battles and you really can’t compare.
I think about the things I love, my family, my boyfriend and my friends. I love music and painting, singing and dancing, and watching sports. And what I’ve realized when I feel down is that I haven’t done these things I love to the extent I need to. So, no wonder I’m going crazy!
So, here’s to keeping it together ONE.MORE.MONTH.
It’s hard to believe I will be graduating. No longer in school (for the time being). I am going to miss my student so much. I’ll miss them coming to school half asleep in the morning. I’ll miss them clapping after I show them a video they liked. I’ll miss the connections I’ve made with them and when they chose me to walk them down the hall. I’ll miss the funny things they do that are so ordinary to them. I’ll miss the hugs and wiping their tears. I’ll miss singing the good morning song to them. I’ll miss looking forward to going back every day despite what is happening in my personal life.
I look forward to having my own classroom full of children that make me proud I chose this profession, like the ones I have now. I couldn’t have asked for a better placement.
Just one more month.
Lauren Muellner will receive her master’s degree in early childhood education with an endorsement in special education in December. She is student teaching in a self-contained special education preschool classroom in Oak Park and is a part-time nanny. Born and raised in Chicago, Lauren likes culture and adventure. She received her bachelor’s degree in theatre from Columbia College Chicago. She plans to integrate music and theatre into her curriculum and teaching.